Jen Changes Her Blog Address. Again.

So I guess if I've learned one lesson in the past 2 years, it's don't pick such a specific blog URL.  Don't include the place you live in the address, because who knows how long you'll even be there.  Also don't put your job title in there either, because you could change jobs.  Twice.  Or become unemployed.  Twice.  Life is very dynamic.  You have to be adaptable.  So now I've gone ahead and changed it again - to Jen Teaches Something - because I am completely in love with teaching itself, but I now know that I could teach many things.  And I want to.

It's really unfortunate that along the winding path of my blogs, I didn't stop and document my brief, yet awesome, stint at Miller Grass.  Then it could have been Jen Sells Grass, and that would make me happy.

So anyway, now it's this, and that's because I think I've found my calling in life.  Well, actually I know I have.  I knew before school even started when I was just attending New Teacher Orientation and now that I've actually done it for a tiny bit, I am happier than I have ever been.  I can't wait to go back every day... but that 3-day weekend sure was nice.  I feel like I am improving in leaps and bounds, and by next year when this isn't my first rodeo anymore I'll be the best teacher imaginable, finally.

Right now I'm teaching Business Information Management (BIM) and Banking and Finance.  So basically I teach Microsoft Office and Personal Finance/Life Skills.  It really couldn't be more perfect because I know all about these things, and I think it's REALLY important that young people know them.  It's just the two perfect subjects for me to teach, and at the perfect place.  West Mesquite High School... the mostly unknown red-headed step-child of Mesquite schools.  So many people I talked to who I went to high school with said they didn't think they had ever been inside West Mesquite.  It makes sense, because West is 4A and North is 5A, so we never played each other in sports or anything, but still you would think we'd have somehow been inside all the high schools just growing up around Mesquite.  I realized after I got inside the first time that I had actually been inside West before, for OM maybe, and for Young Writers' Workshop in junior high.  But even though we didn't really know much about the school, West didn't have a good name to us.  We all knew people who had disappeared after middle school to become West Mesquite Wranglers, of all things, and were never to be seen again (until the advent of Facebook).

But I had an open mind, as one is wont to do when they are in dire need of employment.  Especially when they inadvertently stated in the opening line of the email they sent to the principal of West that they knew that they "would be a great addition to the Horne High School staff".  Because they did not proofread before hitting send, as a truly good prospective employee would have done.  And ESPECIALLY after they sent the second email, sheepishly acknowledging the mistake.  Principal Adams really flattered me on the phone, and even though at first I had been planning to teach Math, he wanted me to come interview for a sudden opening he had in Business.  I could tell he wanted to hire me right off the bat, but I was reluctant, having set my heart on Algebra.  Then I remembered that Adam Tarpley, a friend from high school who is also good college buddies with Angela's husband Chris, also taught Business at West.  After speaking with him it sounded like a fantastic job, and once I met Principal Adams I was sure I would be happy there.  So I took the job.

I feel like West is my adoptive alma mater, or maybe just MISD in general because I just love all the kids I see in Mesquite.  I just want them all to be so successful and happy and for good things to happen to them.  Most of these kids have little hope of higher education, and I want to give them chances they didn't think they had.  I want to equip them for life, and I want to help them succeed.  It's a really fun job, and the kids are just poor, they're not ruined.  They need attention and advice from someone who was once in their place and who has become successful.  And that is me.  Isn't it obvious why I love my job?  I get to be a know-it-all for money.  And I get to do cutesy, clever themes and stuff, because it's MY classroom.  It's just a whole lot of fun.  And I don't work that much.*

*Or at least I won't after I get my first year under my belt. :)

Jen Remembers Stories from Korea: The Story of Gene Part 2

The second time I met Gene, and I use the word ‘met’ euphemistically, was also at a bar (come to think of it, any time I’ve ever seen him has been in a bar... I guess that’s true for sort of a lot of people I knew in Korea... take from that what you will), and I was also accompanied by Marcus and Sarah this time as well because in those days we were especially inseparable.


It was the night before the 3 of us were taking the train to Seoul, where we would fly to Bangkok the following morning for our Trio Thailand Vacation Extravaganza.  It was a Thursday, so we were at Rock ‘n Roll Bar, as usual, with a group of maybe 7 or 8 people.  I had thought I had seen Gene when I’d first come in, but I didn’t make eye contact, and I was content to just ignore him the whole night.  When Marcus and Sarah got there, they felt the same way.  We were going to just let it lie.  Perhaps we felt a little sheepish about our NYE behaviors, or perhaps we had just lost interest in Gene by that point.


Also pertinent is that I don’t think any of the night’s events were alcohol-fueled.  We were there somewhat early to eat dinner and were planning not to stay out too late since we were beginning our vacation the following day.  And I don’t know about Gene, but he didn’t seem drunk, just insane.  In a sober way.


So it's Marcus, then me, then Sarah, sitting side-by-side at the bar, in that order, when Gene walks up to Marcus and tries to shake his hand.

Gene: “Hey dude, just want to make sure we are cool.” Um, no dude, we are not cool.  Do you remember how we ended it?  Why are you even acknowledging anything?  We just want to pretend nothing ever happened.

Marcus: “I don’t really think that we are cool.  I don’t want to shake your hand.  There is no reason for us to speak to one another.  Let’s just let it go.  Let’s just act like we don’t know each other.”

Gene: “Okay dude, no big deal.  I just wanted to tell you no hard feelings or anything.”  Yeah, but we do still have hard feelings because you’re still a jerk, we just don’t care enough to worry about it any more.

Aloud, Marcus said: “Okay, like I said, let’s just not talk.”

It isn’t rude, it's just matter-of-fact.  We don’t like each other, therefore let’s not communicate.  I certainly subscribe to this philosophy.  And Gene seems to be listening.  He shrugs some sort of agreement and then walks on.  I thank Marcus for handling it so calmly and we drop it, thinking the Gene thing is over and done with.

Wrong.

A little while later, maybe 15 minutes, Gene comes up to Sarah, who is on my other side as we remain seated up at the bar.   His jacket is hung on the back of the chair she is sitting in.  She leans forward to let Gene take his jacket when he tries to appeal to her as well.

Gene: “We’re cool now, right?”  Or something to that effect.  Something suggesting we have all now brushed everything under the rug, and he’s asking for our confirmation.

Sarah: “Oh from when you broke into our friends’ house?!”  Okay, Sarah, so that’s the direction we’re going in?  Got it.

Gene: “I didn’t break in!  Michael and I had an agreement.”

Me: “Michael didn’t seem to think you had an agreement.  But whatever.  We don’t care, we just want to drop it.”

Gene: “Okay, okay, no big deal.  But I don’t know why you believe him over me.”

Sarah: “Because he’s our FRIEND.  We know him.  We don’t know you.  And he’s not a liar.”

Gene: “I don’t know why you’d believe him when I’ve been in Korea over a year and he’s only been here a month or two.”

Me: “It has nothing to do with how long he’s been in Korea.  We KNOW him.  We don’t know you except for the things we heard, and that makes us not want to know you.”

Gene: “What do you mean?  What did you hear?”

Me: “Well, we heard that you got fired from the Magic School Bus, that you were now living in Korea illegally, that you were Couch Surfing in Seoul and stole some money from a guy you stayed with.  And plus the breaking and entering thing with Michael and all.”

Gene: “That’s not true!  People just make up lies about me because they are all jealous of me!  So many haters because I make so much money and I get so many hits on YouTube!”

What?!  Whiskey.  Tango.  Foxtrot?  What does YouTube have to do with anything?


I forgot to mention that this incident occurred after the religion he founded (in the most liberal use of the word) tried to friend me on Facebook.  So I already had an inkling about how insane Gene was, but this was breaking new ground.

He starts just yelling and ranting, sort of getting in my face, then starts yelling obscenities at Marcus over my shoulder.  He even told him to “go back to your country!” which is ridiculous because Gene and Marcus are both American.  And Gene is the one with an (allegedly) expired visa, so shouldn’t he really be the one going back to his country?

Sorry to break it to you Gene, but we're all Americans.  Ass.

By this point I am standing, facing Gene, in between him and Marcus, who is still seated at the bar behind me and to my right.  I just keep telling Gene we don’t want to fight with him, telling him to just leave us alone, go away.  He keeps yelling and trying to incite Marcus to fight him, while I plead and demand that Marcus not do anything.  I just really don’t want him to fight AT ALL, but especially when we’re on vacation and at a place we frequent where we really like the owner.  Marcus just sits there and tells Gene calmly to go away.  Gene advances on me and then flips me the bird, putting his hand so close to my face that he almost touches me.  I just blow it off though, what do I care?  He wouldn’t DARE touch me, and the instant he did, every guy in the place would be on his ass, specifically Marcus.  Everyone in the relatively small bar is seeing this argument go down.

Except the only male bartender and the owner.  I try to get the hot bartender’s attention without relinquishing my hold on the ground between Gene and Marcus.  He finally notices my waves and comes around the bar, telling Gene he needs to leave, when Gene makes like he’s going to beat the guy up.  That gets Marcus to his feet, and I wouldn’t have stopped him then.  Gene’s bigger than the hot bartender, and it’s so uncool for him to advance on the guy like that.  But then he pretty much settles down and slinks out of Rock ‘n’ Roll Bar.  Sarah sees him loitering around out in the hallway near the bathrooms not long after, but she gets him to leave without too much trouble.

After that, one of the guys who had been sitting with Gene when we came in tells me that he didn’t know Gene, that he’d just come over to the table where this guy and his friends were sitting and pulled up a chair.  Yep.

Later that night the hot bartender tells us that in Korea, the law is that no matter what happens before the fight, the guy who throws the first punch gets arrested.  Which explains why Gene had tried so hard to incite Marcus to hit him.  That crazy bastard was trying to get Marcus arrested, and thank goodness Marcus kept his cool, or Thailand could have been ruined.  Because of Gene. (Shakes fist.)

Lesson of the Day: Don’t gang up on someone crazy, even in your friend’s defense, lest he later come back and try to ruin your vacation in Thailand.

The Religion Gene founded.

Jen Remembers Stories from Korea: The Story of Gene Part 1

The story with Gene begins with the story of my friend Michael Smit.  Michael is a young California guy with long-ish blonde hair who’s really easy-going, friendly, plays the bass, and always wears this newsies hat.  In short, Michael is a great guy.  A guy nobody could not like.  He’s good people.  We met him at orientation last fall when we all began working in Korea.

So Smitty worked on the Magic School Bus, which was this brand new, decked-out bus that would travel to a different elementary school each week, where students would attend class on the bus for the whole week.  His co-worker was the lovely Heidi, who worked there already when Smitty began the job.  As with many English jobs in Korea, his employer kept the same apartment for him where the former English teacher (who had Michael’s job before him) had lived.  The previous tenant had left some stuff behind when he moved, which Michael kept out on his outside porch.  The guy who had lived in his apartment and held his job before Michael had been a Korean-American dude named Gene.  

Michael works here.

Sometimes when the new foreign English teacher comes to a school the school introduces them to the teacher on the way out, if he is still around.  Since Gene had been fired from the Magic School Bus, Michael hadn’t been introduced to him by the school, but he had met Gene.  Gene had shown up to the apartment sometime soon after Smitty moved in and talked to him about the things he had left behind, which to my knowledge, Smitty was okay with.  We weren’t sure why Gene got fired, but it was rumored that he had not shown up to work and not called, and that since he had been fired, his visa was cancelled and he was therefore remaining in Korea illegally.  

So Michael was settling in the first few weeks in Korea, maybe a month or two in, when he started noticing a couple of strange things going on.  He would come home from work and his shower would be wet, or something would be moved around.  He didn’t know what to think.  Then he decided to check his internet history to see if anything weird was going on there when he pulled up Gene’s Facebook page.  Apparently Gene had made a second key before he moved out and had been using the place during the day when Michael was at work.  Wow.  But Michael is so nice that he didn’t want to go after Gene, he just changed the locks to keep his own stuff safe.  When he told us the story, he also told us some things he had heard about Gene through the grapevine, including the fact that supposedly Gene had been a member of Couchsurfing (a website where travelers can stay on someone’s couch or offer up their couch for someone to stay on) and had stolen $150 from someone whose couch he had stayed on in Seoul.  He was also rumored to be wanted by the police, presumably for stealing the money from the guy in Seoul.  Another story was that he had been living in jimjilbangs (public bath houses that are open all night where he could shower and keep some things in a locker).

So it makes for a good story, but nothing too bad happened to Michael, aside having his privacy totally and completely invaded.  I just mean nothing lasting or too detrimental, such as having something stolen from him, happened to him. 

Fast forward to New Years Eve.  Marcus, Sarah, and I are at Sunset in Haeundae.  A bunch of our other friends end up there too, and we end up meeting up with Smitty.  He tells us that he just saw Gene here at Sunset.

“What?!  Gene’s here?  Gene, Gene?! Which one is he?” We all ask, looking around the bar.

But Smitty is too good a guy and won’t tell us which one Gene is.  He just wants to drop the whole thing. 

So what do the 3 of us do?  What do we do when we have courage and indignation and champagne coursing through our veins?  Our friend was wronged.  We can’t just stand there and do nothing!

So we end up walking through the bar asking everyone we meet if they’re Gene.  

“Are you Gene?  Are you Gene?  Are you Gene?”  We ask, until we finally find him.  

"I'm Gene."

“What’s wrong with you?” “Who do you think you are?!”  “How dare you invade our friend’s privacy!”  We get in his face and pelt him with questions.  

I get the bold idea to smack the ski cap off his head.  (Who do I think I am?)  This causes him to sort of turn on me, to which Marcus reacts very protectively in my honor, even though I started it.  Marcus sort of gets in his face, and he can’t do anything because there’s 3 of us and plus Marcus could easily break him in two.  Soon the bouncer comes and breaks it up and we walk away from him.  

Oops.  This was probably something like what Michael was trying to avoid.

“We’re sorry, Michael.”  We say.  He’s probably embarrassed by us.  But he doesn’t get mad, even though he didn’t want us to talk to Gene at all.  Apparently Gene is under the impression that he and Michael had an agreement about the apartment, because he had been leaving some of his stuff there.  But Michael didn’t know Gene had a key to the place.  He just left all Gene’s stuff outside the apartment door when he changed the locks, and now wants to just forget it ever happened.  We vow to comply.

Over the course of the next month or so, we tell the story to some people, but we basically forget about the Gene thing.  We see him on Facebook and note that he has invented a religion, which has a Facebook page, and tries to friend me, which I decline.  I randomly poke him sometime but nothing comes of it.  Gene fades into the back of our memory.

Jen Remembers Stories from Korea

Since returning from Korea, I've been regaling people with stories of my antics in Asia, and it made me think I should really write this down.  So I'm going to be putting finger to keyboard and banging through these stories so I don't forget them.  Hope everyone enjoys them.

Jen Will Always Be a Daddy's Girl

Bret Davis

July 13, 1960 - June 8, 2010

Nobody could have been a better Dad.

He is well-loved and will be infinitely missed.

Brief statement here.  Obituary here.

Jen Scoreboards You

Thanks to my favorite former teacher, Scott Bush, for giving me this list and reminding me of just how far I’ve gone towards achieving the fabled ‘Good Life’. 

Look at Trip Advisor’s Top 10 Beach & Sun Destinations for 2010.  See #9, Boracay, Philippines?  I went there in February, pretty much getting the jump on Trip Advisor.  No big deal.  And see #2 Tulum, Mexico?  I will be in Playa in August with 5 of my favorite people on Earth (the Davis clan), so let’s see if we can mark this one off the list too.

Also, if you look at the Top 10 Beach & Sun Destinations in Asia, notice that Boracay is #1, and also that I went to #5 Koh Phagnan, Thailand, and #6 Koh Samui, Thailand, back in January.  Before I even saw this awesome list!  Must be doing something right.  And I’m thinking I can hit maybe 3 more of these places when my contract is up in September (Maldives, anyone?).  So even though right now I'm desk-warming at my empty school on a Tuesday in June, I am reminded of why it's worth it.  And it’s nice to have goals.

Jen is Superfluous

There are no students here today.  There are no other teachers here.  But I’m here.  I’m really not into complaining, but I am into pointing out when things are stupid, which this is.*

Now, I can see this from my school’s point of view.  The other teachers and students must come to school every other Saturday, and I don’t have to.  The other teachers have to grade papers while I don’t do grades and they must be really busy because most of them are here when I get here in the mornings and are here when I leave at 4:30pm.  I totally get that they aren’t happy with the discrepancy between how much they work and get paid and how much I work and get paid (I don’t actually know how much they make, but I have heard it’s less than I do).  That wouldn’t make me very sympathetic towards the Native English Teacher either, if I perceived how very little work she had to do compared to me.   However, I am not in a situation where I’m getting the shitty end of the deal because I didn’t put myself in that position.  I am taking advantage of circumstances that are skewed favorably in my direction. Sorry I’m opportunistic.  Sorry you didn’t have that opportunity, but don’t begrudge me a day off when every other human in the school is off-campus somewhere because it’s just PETTY.  And what’s worse, completely illogical.  I am literally costing the school money in electricity as I sit here and BLOG.  How is that making everything fair and square?

It's so Petty.

Honestly, I don’t balk at working the days I’m supposed to be working.  I understand that working begets paychecks, and I’m fine with that whole setup.  I know it’s in my contract to work every single weekday this year, save for my 18 vacation days and 11 national holidays.  But that doesn’t mean my logical brain doesn’t also know how ridiculous it is to force me to come to an empty school today (with no work to be done!), and not only that but for nobody to have bothered to tell me why there isn’t anyone else here besides the one ‘temporary’ English teacher (who is Korean and is pretty much in the same boat as me, as far as I can tell), and the Vice Principal.  Seriously, I have literally no idea what is going on.  So maybe it’s the combination of the pettiness of making me come in for no reason and the inconsideration of not keeping me in the loop that’s prompted me to write this.  Those things plus 8 hours of free time to fill.

So in conclusion, I’m not complaining, I’m detailing out why it’s petty and uptight to try to create fairness in the world by punishing those who got the better end of a deal.  Does this relieve any other teachers of the burden of grading tons of papers or working later than me?  Is making both our situations worse contributing to the greater good?  Nope.  I rest my case.

*I know, I know, it’s a different culture.  I ALWAYS consider that when there’s anything that makes me go “What the…?”, but I’m not budging on this one.  There is no reason for me to be here except for the fact that I signed a contract that says I will.  This is like the home team batting in the bottom of the 9^th when they’ve already won the game – pointless and a waste of time. 

Jen Finds the Key to Creativity (Possibly)

I teach 1^st-3^rd ( the equivalent of 7^th -9^th in the States) grade at an all-boys middle school here in Busan.  I have 18 classes of about 35 students each during the week (six of each grade), so that’s three lessons a week, plus after-school classes of anywhere from two to 15 students (depending on who shows up) three times a week.  These after-school classes are where I am allowed to be more creative in my methods, but I also have to take into account the varying levels of the students who attend the after school classes because they are made up of students from all three grade levels.

I have sort of made it my mission to try to eke some imagination out of the kids in my after-school class since being given the chance to be creative is apparently pretty uncommon in the Korean school system (or maybe Korea in general, I’m not sure), and this is where I can give the students the most one-on-one attention.  I say this because when I first began teaching I had many lofty ideas involving creative drawing, story-telling, and play-acting, only to be disappointed time and again that I could not get a shred of original thought from them out of the exercises I thought would be really fun.  I found that ANY time I gave any sort of example of what I would want, they would all copy exactly what I had written word for word.  Literally.  Now that I have the hang of things, I can usually see beforehand how they will interpret the lesson and what they will come up with, so I have to plan accordingly and basically force their hand as best I can.

Today’s extra class lesson was called Crazy Pictures.  The gist was that I would show a picture that was sort of "crazy" and they had to write a story about what was happening in the picture.  Then we would read the stories and vote, and the funniest story would win cookies (American Girl Scout cookies, courtesy of my former history teacher and current friend Scott Bush, thankyouverymuch).  I gave them a couple of key words that I thought would be useful – mainly for spelling purposes - but that’s all, because I didn’t want to lead them in ANY direction.  I was trying to make them be creative, as ridiculous as that might sound.  But I’ve learned that that’s the name of the game here.

So for the first picture I started off with this:

And the key words I gave them were Birthday (sort of obvious) and Golden Retriever.

My co-teacher Mrs. Kim came up after about 12 seconds and said, “They want more key words” with a giggle.  (I find that Korean women giggle a lot, many times when they are nervous.  It’s an interesting cultural nuance that really throws me off-sides sometimes because it’s so different from the Western behavior that I am used to.  One of those things you have to re-align in your head almost every time.) I was almost immediately frustrated because of course they want more key words.  But I told her, “If I give them more key words, all of their stories are going to be exactly the same.” (which they probably will be anyway), “The point is that they be creative.”

These are the responses I got on the first picture:

That G.R.s are twins.  And today is their birthday. So they wearing birthday hat. Celebrate Birthday.

Okay… so this could not be a more straightforward representation of what is in the picture.  Did I mention that the stories are supposed to be funny?  Oh, yes, it was in the instructions, and I repeated them numerous times.  I thought at least there would be something about death and gore in there (because all my students’ stories usually have “He is died” in them somewhere.  All my friends’ students do too.  Not sure what the obsession with killing is).  But I tried not to be discouraged as I went on to the next student.  (I also taught them the word triplets after this.)

Today three Golden Retrievers Birthday ~! Two Golden Retrievers are happy but one (Golden Retrievers) is sad.  Why?  Because he know

Okay, so you didn’t have enough time to finish.  Still pretty basic, but at least you noticed that the one on the left isn’t smiling like the other two.

A dog which has three heads am Birthday.

Now I won’t ever make fun of my students.  I am not heartless, and they are really great.  This kid really tries hard and can hardly sound out English words, (a fact I don’t understand because these students have had English at least five days a week since they were eight years old, but that’s a whole different conversation), and I really admire his determination.  And you can tell he was trying to be funny with the whole three heads thing, which I really appreciate, given the theme of this blog post.  But the sentence does make my head a little insane if I look at it too much.

This a my pet.  My pet birthday is today.  So three Golden Retriever’s.  The host took them to the park, but the Golden Retriever’s want a dog food, and meet.

Boring, but you were at least trying to think of a new location, the park.  Thank you, kid.

Today is three Golden Retriever’s birthday. So they wearing birthday hat.  And their host is give a steak.  But they are sad.  Because they want dog food.  So they bark to host. So the host give a water.  But they bark to host.

This is actually extremely creative because I don’t know any Golden Retrievers who would be sad when given a steak because they actually wanted dog food.  And it’s one of the longest stories.  Bravo kid!

Here was the winner (not entirely based on funny, but also because his was the longest and I was thankful for his effort):

Today my Golden Retriever birthday. How do birthday party.  It is easy.  Just, dog head cover.  The birthday hat.  They are have scared teeth.  It’s very sharp.  They are eat fish.  They look like cat.  Ka ka ka ka ka ka ka (laughing noise).  But they are dog.  They eat the ham.  They look like crazy dog.  They look like happy.  But they want to eat ham.  They have sharp teeth.  At last they eat the ham.  They look crazy.

Pretty funny.  And a good, long story.  This kid came away with 2 Do-si-dos.

Here is the next picture, with the key words Fire and Scream:

When I chose this picture and the key words, I clearly underestimated the Korean child’s obsession with and disgust of underarm hair.  I wrongly thought the burning headpiece would be the central theme of their interest.

When he wears a hat, he gets a lightning.

Not surprisingly, this is the same kid whose sentence made my head insane before.

He is crazy boy.  I see underarm hair.  It’s dirty.  Ka ka ka ka ka (laughing noise again).  I think he head is fire.  I think no have hair.  He head is twink twink.  He head is flute.  Ka ka ka ka ka.  Also he eyes fire.  Ka ka ka ka.  He is doing yawning.

This is the student who won the first round.  Clearly he thinks in order for the story to be funny it must include laughing, which I don’t dispute.  Also, when I saw “twink twink”, I thought he meant gay… but it turns out he meant “twinkling”, like a star.  Oops.  My mistake.  I also explained that you don’t have to ‘do’ yawning.  I did like his story though. 

He is Gay.  He is play with fire.  His house is fire.  He body fire.

My response was, “What about this makes him gay?”  And the kid just gestured like I was stupid if I couldn’t tell what about him was gay.  I thought, kid, you hold hands with boys… you don’t know from gay.  And I’m still unsure exactly what it was that made him think that.  I bet it was the underarm hair.  Maybe the fact that dude’s not wearing a shirt.  I hardly think he could have made the connection with the word “flamer” and the fact that the man has a flaming headpiece on, but that would have been pretty clever.

He is burning now.  But he’s speak “I’m happy, I’m cold.”  The reason is He’s makali one shot and he is die.

Now there’s the reference to death I was expecting.  Makali is a Korean rice wine that is really delicious.  As far as I can tell, the man got drunk on one shot of Makali and caught on fire and died…?

He is crazy boy.  He wears fire hat.  He look like very very very crazy.  I’m look he underarm hair.  It’s very dirty.  Now I know he is dirty and crazy.  I don’t like to be his friend.

Yep, don’t befriend the crazy, dirty fire-hat guy with underarm hair!  I don’t know, to me he looks kind of like he knows how to have a good time.  But to each his own.

And here’s the winning story:

One stupid man burning himself.  But he looks so funny.  What a idiot!  Oh-yeah!

Clear.  To the point.  And it’s really hard to read that without laughing, so here’s a couple of Do-si-dos kid.

Here’s the last picture, which they really went wild for.  The key words were Rat, Evil, and Truck.

That little rat wanna play with people but people don’t like rat. So that rat is mad!  He will destroy everything!

Everything.  Damn.

Toe evil rat invade Earth rule.

Guess whose story that one was?  Yep, insane-head strikes again.

There is the evil mouse.  But he is so small, so onlooker don’t care.  But evil mouse is bigger than mouse.  So he is very big and look scary and one citizen kill the evil rat.  Evil rat is die.

Now that is more what I was expecting.  Evil rat is die, obviously.  Also, I think my co-teacher taught them the word citizen during class because more than one kid used it and I know it’s not in their basic vocabulary.

It has very big ears.  It has very big teeth.  It has very big head.  It has very short arm.  It has short legs.  It has big body.  It is fat.  It is boom body.  It is die.  Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Descriptive, but not a whole lot of plot twists.  And of course the rat must die.  Also, the evil rat starts to sound an awful lot like the Big Bad Wolf from Little Red Riding Hood, does it not?  Pretty good one.

Here is my favorite, mostly because of the use of a lot of dialogue.  And I like the idea of pleading with someone to believe that you are cute.

“Oh! Monster! Help me ~!” Evil rat say “No I’m very cute and good…” but citizen continuous “Help me ~ Help me Evil rat eating me ~!”  Evil rat say “Oh ~ No….”

So the moral of the story is either Korean kids find dogs in hats boring or that Korean kids hate underarm hair.  But the stories did get better each time.  Perhaps I just needed to give them a little time to get the creative juices flowing?  Or maybe, just maybe, it was the underarm hair that did it…  What if somehow that’s the key that opens the door to the mind?  Maybe I’ll test this theory by introducing more underarm hair into the lesson next time I want to evoke creativity.  I guess it’s more likely that they’ll just start to think that I’m weird underarm-hair-obsession-girl… but there’s only one way to find out.

Jen does the D-A-N-C-E

This weekend a group of us braved the unknown perils of waking up early on a Saturday to take a train to Seoul to dance and enjoy general merriment at World DJ Fest.  We (inevitably) got shushed on the train the entire way there (we couldn’t help it, didn’t they realize how excited we were?!), hiked across great distances to reach the park where the festival was being held (the term ‘great’ being subject to some exaggeration on my part) and ‘camped’ outside the festival grounds (the only similarity it bore to real camping was that there were tents involved).  The weather literally could not have been more perfect, the beats were thumping, and we cut loose like it had been years since we’d had a day off (actually, we had had Wednesday off).  And we have the photos to prove it. 

We made it to Seoul!

Gorgeous park on the way to the festival grounds.

Taking a break from our hike on this big rock.

Nom nom nom.

"The calm before the storm."

We're SO excited!

View of the Han River with Seoul in the distance.  We are on an overpass walking to the festival grounds which you can't see here, but they are off to the right a little ways.

Our settlement, Funtown.  We've already picked up some new friends.

The festival as seen from Funtown.

First views of the festival at around 4pm.

Perfect weather and loud music makes us giddy.

We danced early and often.

"I just wanna dance!"

I don't know why, but I like it.

Another awesome thing about festivals: the dress.

Scared?

So much dancing is going on right now.

A sight I love to see, no matter what continent I'm on.

Do the D-A-N-C-E

Jen is Free at Last and Twenty-Eight to Boot

I know it’s been a while since I’ve posted, and by now most people who care know that I am (blessedly) out of the hospital.  I survived!  It was really touch-and-go there for a little while… except that it wasn’t at all.  

I was released from my own personal hell on April 15, the day millions of accountants look forward to each year and also known as My Birthday Eve.  Upside, I got out just in time for the weekend so I could indulge in some brain-invigorating human interaction; downside, total bill was 1.1M Korean won.  That sounds way worse than it really was, which was around $1,000, but still.  Ouch.  However (as the one sort of tactless doctor who happened to be the only one who spoke English well was quick to tell me numerous times), it was still much cheaper than it would have been in the US.  Which is undeniable.  Even with my old BCBS insurance through McAfee, my deductible alone was a grand, and after that it was an 80-20 thing.  So in some backwards kind of way, this was perfect timing.  If you can call anything about this situation ‘perfect’.

I am planning on doing a mini case study comparing the cost/treatment of having this procedure here in Korea vs. back home in the States, but that will be somewhat of an undertaking, so nobody hold their breath.  Just stay tuned.

I got out of the hospital around noon (with the shut-down catheter still protruding from my back and an appointment with a urologist for a week later) and headed home to embrace freedom for the afternoon.  Then Jess, Brittany, and Sarah came over for a Homecoming/Birthday Girls’ Celebration.  It was JUST what I needed.  Sarah brought me a chocolate cake and Brittany a plum tart/pie type of thing and we grubbed down while Brittany also read our Tarot cards one-by-one.  Spoiler alert: my life is going to be awesome.  Really, that’s what the cards said - basically I can’t go wrong and everything is going to be killer.  As if there were any other alternative.  But it’s still nice to have it confirmed by the omniscience of the Tarot, right?

Sarah and a surprise cake.

Too delicious to stop.  Or get a picture of either in one piece.

Nom, nom, nom, nom.

Lady Brittany knows all.

The cards don't lie.

On Friday, my actual birthday, I slept late and prepared for a low-key night out, far more excited about the re-entering society part of the evening than the birthday part. About 8 of us went to Rock ‘n’ Roll (one of my favorite home-like bars with great American food) for dinner, then we headed over to Metal City to see Poko Lambro play.  PL is a couple from Texas who have a fantastic sound, and I had been planning on making that my birthday scene for a month or more. I even wore my gator-skin boots for the occasion. Not for the first time, I marveled that I would come all the way across the Pacific only to love the things best that remind me most of home.  Absence really has made my heart grow fonder of Texas.

The night did not disappoint.  I made a rule not to talk about the hospital stay on my birthday.  Jess gave me a birthday hat that ruled the evening, and at the behest of Marcus, Jenny made me a gigantic “Happy Birthday Jen” banner.  

THE hat.  "Kiss me, it's my birthday!"

Jess, the hat idea was genius.  Everything is better when there are props involved.

My super mega awesome banner at Metal City.

Banner designed and painted by the lovely and amazing Jenny P.

The beautiful Violet Lea of Poko Lambro fame.

Marcus, who made things happen.  Because he's the best.

Love these girls.

Leah's just doing what the hat says.

The hat. Was. A. Hit.

Turns out those Tarot cards were right on the money.  Best first birthday on foreign soil yet.