It was the night before the 3 of us were taking the train to Seoul, where we would fly to Bangkok the following morning for our Trio Thailand Vacation Extravaganza. It was a Thursday, so we were at Rock ‘n Roll Bar, as usual, with a group of maybe 7 or 8 people. I had thought I had seen Gene when I’d first come in, but I didn’t make eye contact, and I was content to just ignore him the whole night. When Marcus and Sarah got there, they felt the same way. We were going to just let it lie. Perhaps we felt a little sheepish about our NYE behaviors, or perhaps we had just lost interest in Gene by that point.
Also pertinent is that I don’t think any of the night’s events were alcohol-fueled. We were there somewhat early to eat dinner and were planning not to stay out too late since we were beginning our vacation the following day. And I don’t know about Gene, but he didn’t seem drunk, just insane. In a sober way.
So it's Marcus, then me, then Sarah, sitting side-by-side at the bar, in that order, when Gene walks up to Marcus and tries to shake his hand.
Gene: “Hey dude, just want to make sure we are cool.” Um, no dude, we are not cool. Do you remember how we ended it? Why are you even acknowledging anything? We just want to pretend nothing ever happened.
Marcus: “I don’t really think that we are cool. I don’t want to shake your hand. There is no reason for us to speak to one another. Let’s just let it go. Let’s just act like we don’t know each other.”
Gene: “Okay dude, no big deal. I just wanted to tell you no hard feelings or anything.” Yeah, but we do still have hard feelings because you’re still a jerk, we just don’t care enough to worry about it any more.
Aloud, Marcus said: “Okay, like I said, let’s just not talk.”
It isn’t rude, it's just matter-of-fact. We don’t like each other, therefore let’s not communicate. I certainly subscribe to this philosophy. And Gene seems to be listening. He shrugs some sort of agreement and then walks on. I thank Marcus for handling it so calmly and we drop it, thinking the Gene thing is over and done with.
Wrong.
A little while later, maybe 15 minutes, Gene comes up to Sarah, who is on my other side as we remain seated up at the bar. His jacket is hung on the back of the chair she is sitting in. She leans forward to let Gene take his jacket when he tries to appeal to her as well.
Gene: “We’re cool now, right?” Or something to that effect. Something suggesting we have all now brushed everything under the rug, and he’s asking for our confirmation.
Sarah: “Oh from when you broke into our friends’ house?!” Okay, Sarah, so that’s the direction we’re going in? Got it.
Gene: “I didn’t break in! Michael and I had an agreement.”
Me: “Michael didn’t seem to think you had an agreement. But whatever. We don’t care, we just want to drop it.”
Gene: “Okay, okay, no big deal. But I don’t know why you believe him over me.”
Sarah: “Because he’s our FRIEND. We know him. We don’t know you. And he’s not a liar.”
Gene: “I don’t know why you’d believe him when I’ve been in Korea over a year and he’s only been here a month or two.”
Me: “It has nothing to do with how long he’s been in Korea. We KNOW him. We don’t know you except for the things we heard, and that makes us not want to know you.”
Gene: “What do you mean? What did you hear?”
Me: “Well, we heard that you got fired from the Magic School Bus, that you were now living in Korea illegally, that you were Couch Surfing in Seoul and stole some money from a guy you stayed with. And plus the breaking and entering thing with Michael and all.”
Gene: “That’s not true! People just make up lies about me because they are all jealous of me! So many haters because I make so much money and I get so many hits on YouTube!”
What?! Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot? What does YouTube have to do with anything?
I forgot to mention that this incident occurred after the religion he founded (in the most liberal use of the word) tried to friend me on Facebook. So I already had an inkling about how insane Gene was, but this was breaking new ground.
He starts just yelling and ranting, sort of getting in my face, then starts yelling obscenities at Marcus over my shoulder. He even told him to “go back to your country!” which is ridiculous because Gene and Marcus are both American. And Gene is the one with an (allegedly) expired visa, so shouldn’t he really be the one going back to his country?
Sorry to break it to you Gene, but we're all Americans. Ass.
By this point I am standing, facing Gene, in between him and Marcus, who is still seated at the bar behind me and to my right. I just keep telling Gene we don’t want to fight with him, telling him to just leave us alone, go away. He keeps yelling and trying to incite Marcus to fight him, while I plead and demand that Marcus not do anything. I just really don’t want him to fight AT ALL, but especially when we’re on vacation and at a place we frequent where we really like the owner. Marcus just sits there and tells Gene calmly to go away. Gene advances on me and then flips me the bird, putting his hand so close to my face that he almost touches me. I just blow it off though, what do I care? He wouldn’t DARE touch me, and the instant he did, every guy in the place would be on his ass, specifically Marcus. Everyone in the relatively small bar is seeing this argument go down.
Except the only male bartender and the owner. I try to get the hot bartender’s attention without relinquishing my hold on the ground between Gene and Marcus. He finally notices my waves and comes around the bar, telling Gene he needs to leave, when Gene makes like he’s going to beat the guy up. That gets Marcus to his feet, and I wouldn’t have stopped him then. Gene’s bigger than the hot bartender, and it’s so uncool for him to advance on the guy like that. But then he pretty much settles down and slinks out of Rock ‘n’ Roll Bar. Sarah sees him loitering around out in the hallway near the bathrooms not long after, but she gets him to leave without too much trouble.
After that, one of the guys who had been sitting with Gene when we came in tells me that he didn’t know Gene, that he’d just come over to the table where this guy and his friends were sitting and pulled up a chair. Yep.
Later that night the hot bartender tells us that in Korea, the law is that no matter what happens before the fight, the guy who throws the first punch gets arrested. Which explains why Gene had tried so hard to incite Marcus to hit him. That crazy bastard was trying to get Marcus arrested, and thank goodness Marcus kept his cool, or Thailand could have been ruined. Because of Gene. (Shakes fist.)
Lesson of the Day: Don’t gang up on someone crazy, even in your friend’s defense, lest he later come back and try to ruin your vacation in Thailand.
The Religion Gene founded.
What memories.
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